I wrote this a while back and never got around to posting it.

Before I get into what the title is about I need to give a little back story. Before a new paladin came into my guild I did a 25 man raid on Vash, a Boss mob in SSC. At the time a Paladin who we'll call Fred set up a Freedom rotation. Now Fred is an Asian man with an accent. It's not hard to understand him, but it makes things interesting since well no one around me has one. :) hehe In fact, I'm the only Asian in our guild without an accent! Anyways he taught me how to do the rotation by spamming me with Freedom now and telling me once in Vent (you'll find out more on that later) Freedom on Kych. (Kych has a longer name, but just like mine it got shortened.) So with two failed attempts and one win I became a pro at the rotation for fear of being spammed with "Fredom now" from Fred. And boy did he spam me until I did it! XD

Can I do it? Yeah I doubt it too, but I have to otherwise the stress I'm having is going to kill me. It's not control with my job that I need to let go of, I have no control over to begin with and never had, it's in WoW. Last night I found out that in my guild we do not have a class leader for my class. Our class leader left and right now there's some weird struggle for power. I figured when the leader left it went to this one Paladin who has not only seniority, but is also very knowledgeable...Fred. Fred a really good Paladin and I look up to him. He knows all of the three different types well and what talents you should have for each type. There's Ret (pure damage and single mob tank), Prot(great at tanking more then one mob and holding agro on all of them) and Holy (an single target healing class who tends to over heal). I'm Holy since I've always been a healer, although I loved being Ret when I leveled. Beating the crap out of mobs and when pvping was a great stress relief. See a "Red" and game on! Now it's see a "Red" and bubble while I run away like the pussy I am or wait for my husband to show up to kill them. XD I'm just not very good with pvp.

Any ways, it turns out that Fred is not our class lead. That it's up for grabs and anyone taking the initiative to set things up can become the leader. I don't want to be, but I also don't want to wait around forever and a day. We have a new Paladin who we'll call Pita. Pita is…well a pita. He's someone who moved from one server to another and is playing a class that he's had no experience playing before, but everyone thinks very highly of him. I think he's a dumbass. Someone put him in charge of a Freedom rotation a few weeks ago. He screwed it up, BIG time. I mean we were getting yelled at all of the time because he wasn't doing what he was supposed to be doing. Sometimes I wish we didn't use Vent. (Vent is a program we use where people can talk to each other for free, think live chat channel.) Last night we did the same fight, but since he wasn't working on the rotation and our guild leader was wanting to get the raid going I made the rotation with me going first. I made him make a macro for him to send me a whisper and told him to send it a second before his would end. What I didn't realize since was that he was a Holy Paladin speced for Precision and not for Freedom. It breaks down to simple math. We cast a spell that if you're speced for freedom lasts 14 seconds with a 25 second wait before you can cast it again. This means two people who are speced properly can do this right. Since when he made the rotation it was only me and him I thought he had a 14 second spell too. Now last night I found out I was wrong. I told him he's going second. What does he do? He screws up the order and we get yelled at for his mistake. When we wipe and we're being told how important Freedom is he starts talking to me in vent. He was rude, mean, talked to me as if I was stupid and tried to chew me out like everything was my fault. Needless to say I came unglued. It was a damn good thing I don't have a mic. I was chewing him out for trying to make me the bad guy. Everyone in our guild on the raid was probably enjoying the drama. Some of the people come to my defense, including my husband who ironically gets in trouble for doing so.

So I set up a new rotation including our Prot Paladin. The rotation went me, Pita and Prot. I didn't think of telling Pita to change his macro to send the whisper to Prot instead of me. I mean how stupid can someone be right? I was wrong. During the raid he then sends me the whispers! I felt like screaming, well I did scream, but only my husband heard me. I'm then forced to wait for my refresh and cast again, but because the gap of time is less noticeable then what it was before we're told by our guild leader "that's how it should be done" I felt like saying no, there was a second gap. When your kid is getting Fs and then brings home some Cs that doesn't mean it's time to celebrate. It means your kid still needs to get his butt in gear and get As. Cs are just better then failing, but nothing to be happy about. Pita then pipes in saying that "it can be done" and I felt like telling him he's a dumbass and there shouldn't be ANY gaps! We'll see how it goes tonight since we never downed the mob and we're going to do it again. I'm not going to do a damn thing for this guild ever again. I don't want to be leader of my class. I don't want to be even remotely put into that group. I just want to play with my husband and that's it. I will refuse to be in the rotation if he does it and only has us two. I may not be interested in being the best, but I refuse to willingly be a "C student" just because of Pita's ignorance. Anyone who says "it's simple math" and then can't figure out 14 + 10 doesn't = 25 scares me...A LOT!

(Pita didn't raid the following day and so Fred and I did a perfect job with Freedom. Didn't get yelled at once about that. Not sure why he didn't raid, but if his point was we couldn't do it without him he failed. We killed the mob, short one healer, on the third try and it was flawless. /evil grin He did show up last night though and when he didn't set up a mod paladins use completely it ticked me off. If you're going to take control over something do it right, don't do it half ass. He also ignored me in the paladin channel which pissed me off more then his half ass ways.)

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So a whole lot of stuff is going on. I'm trying to level my Pally to 70 and it's a bitch and a half to do it. I'm starting to get tired of not being able to really play with my husband. I won't quit though since then it would mean everything I've done has been a huge waste of my time, and I do not waste time if I don't have to. Lately instead of questing while my husband is raiding I've just been grinding experience. Meaning I've just been killing mobs that serve me no purpose for quests. I have been killing mobs that are supposed to drop items for my alchemy trade skill. When I was hunting them for my quest they dropped everything under the sun, now they rarely drop anything I want…bastards. I'm level 52 right now and I hope to reach 53 tonight.

I've also been preparing everything for the dinner we're having in June. I really wanted to invite some of the friends I've made through Animanga and SnS, but everyone lives soooo far away from me. They would never pay the amount of money it would take to come just for a small dinner party. Tonight I need to finish putting together the invitations for my co-workers. Last night I finished Matt's co-workers and his mothers because she was on the same sheet the RSVP cards were printed out on. She's already causing trouble and I have a feeling what "little" she has done is not the last of it. Before I stressed about seating, but after speaking with my mentor I realized how silly that was. The dinner is for my husband and I and our happiness comes before hers. I will try my best, but I won't bend over backwards and sit somewhere I don't want to. The invitations didn't come out as expected. I had measured them incorrectly so the envelopes I bought are an inch too big. I know, don't stress…but it bugs the living crap out of me every time I think about it! Grrr…

Tomorrow is the tasting for one of the desserts, Champagne cake. I'm actually excited about it, even if I won't be having it at the party. There are three desserts to choose from a three berry tart a la mode, a chocolate mousse cake a la mode and the Champagne cake. My mom and I had the other two desserts when we went up there to test their food. The cake is the only dessert that Wawona isn't going to be making. I actually planned on having it at the Pine Resort, but they are a ridged bunch of people who can't even bend a little rule like giving us the option of 2 desserts. I asked the director at Wawona if it was ok if we added a third and she said it was fine since I'm making place cards and stuff. (The same things I told Pine Resort I would do.) I guess being in Yosemite makes you more relaxed and less anal about rules and restrictions? XD

I am also worrying about party favors. How much is too much? I'm thinking something from Godiva. Godiva can let you personalize things and I could pick out what I want, but I'm not sure. Would a box of 2 truffles be too small and is 4 truffles to big? Do they make a 3 box of truffles? XD My mom and I will need to head to Sac. or some other Godiva store to see if we should go that route. They are more expensive, but I just adore their truffles. My husband doesn't really care about any of this. His only feelings have been that he wanted the Prime rib for dinner with Champagne cake for dessert. That's it. He let me pick out the colors which are pinks, purples, blues and teals. So much to do and I'd like it to be all done by middle of April. I really really want to go stay at the Kabuki Hotel in San Fran. for the Cherry Blossom Festival, but then I keep thinking I should save it to buy a house or a computer. BLARG!

I know everything is nothing to be stressed about, but I know I am since I keep picking and biting at my bottom lip. Everything will get done, just perhaps not according to my schedule that I have careful planned out.

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