Environment vs. Genes
I always love spending the one Saturday a month with my mom. I wish it was more, but with gas prices being so high we make due. This time it was her turn to treat me to lunch. My niece has been giving her a really hard time. I knew it was coming since even as a child she didn't listen and got away with murder. My mom and sister used to get so mad at me for punishing her with a spanking for being disrespectful or misbehaving. I was the mean one. The one who felt she should behave like a good mannered girl. Times were different since my mom now no longer puts up with it. My niece is becoming more like my sister, I saw it coming from a mile away, and my mom isn't going to live through that again. I don't blame her since I remember how horrible it was.
My mom for her birthday wanted my niece to do something thoughtful for her. She didn't want my niece to buy something, just do something...anything. My niece couldn't think of one damn thing. I was stunned. My mom is very easy to please. Picking flowers, making her a card, writing a letter, doing some yard work or house work without being asked, etc. any of these ideas would have been an acceptable way to show your love to her. My niece couldn't think of one thing. Not one damn simple thing to do. Can you believe it?
My mom has always put other's needs before her own. My mom used to wake up at 5 am in order to be ready before me. This way she could eat breakfast with me, put my clothes in the dryer so they were nice and toasty in the winter, etc. She would put little notes or "gift cards" (little business sized cards with things like get out of school for the day or a trip to Fresno to go shopping) in my snack bag. She really is the best mommy anyone could ask for and I know she used to do those things for my niece. We've always had a special bond. I hated being away from her and she hated it when I would leave home, no matter how "short" it might have been. It's probably why she let me invite friends over to stay all of the time. It seems with my niece it's different. You would think because she's grown up with my mom their bond would be just as strong, but it isn't.
I'm so much like my mom in many ways. We don't socialize very well since we don't like to "chit chat" unless it's about something we're interested in. We figure everything else is a waste of our breath so why say anything just to fill time? We dislike people blaming money or pampered upbringing for a reason why they suck as a parent. We dislike shopping alone unless we know exactly what we want and then we never window shop and just go in and get out. We dislike people who don't try their very best and work hard to become better. We tend to put other people's needs first. We tend to be passive aggressive and will back down, especially at work, in order to not cause the people we like "trouble"...even if we really don't want to. Etc. Etc. Etc.
My niece doesn't have any of this in her. She's just like my sister and it's a bit scary, maybe in her case genes trumps environment? If this is the case then why am I so much like my mom? I'm very much like my dad too though. Still I shouldn't be like them since I don't have either of their genes. Does this mean environment only makes people who they are sometimes? What's the deciding factor? If it wasn't for my sister does this mean I would be just as ungrateful towards my mom? I'd like to think I'd still be a "nice" person without having lived in hell with my sister.
My brother was the same way. My mom was a single parent. So, it was easier just to give him what he wants rather than argue with him about it. The problem is he is still a nightmare.
» Southern on 2007-05-23 04:24:16
lol i know when to be nice to my mom... but shes kinda mad at me all the time... cuz im really messy >.<
» crz4manga on 2007-05-27 01:37:04
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